Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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