I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
