Cold hands, warm shart.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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