My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize