how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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