i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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