At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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