ADVERTISEMENT

• (760): View more from California

  ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!

  Fav 68 1785 781

  share tweet
  

• (575): View more from New Mexico

  This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.

  Fav 3 971 3370

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (720): View more from Colorado

  i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.

  Fav 22 807 3589

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But what if I pay for the gas?

  Fav 53 1501 7403

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

  Fav 7 3676 1602

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this

  Fav 17 5267 1485

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Yup.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yup.

  Fav 71 25897 2451

  share tweet
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.

  (801): View more from Utah

  Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.

  Fav 5 2542 991

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".

  Fav 7 1055 762

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"

  Fav 3 1031 679

  share tweet
  

• (924): View more from

  He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same

  Fav 3 757 515

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.

  Fav 2 103 228

  share tweet
  

• (996): View more from

  The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant

  (996): View more from

  This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.

  Fav 0 179 105

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.

  Fav 2 14 104

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (817): View more from Texas

  I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.

  Fav 0 2 26

  share tweet
  

Randomize