Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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(631): Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach? http://tfl.nu/iba6

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(323): View more from California

At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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(323): At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands. http://tfl.nu/8842

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer

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(267): My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/qmj6

Replies (102) Good night (1466) Bad night (3885)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win

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(702): Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win http://tfl.nu/7mt0

Replies (10) Good night (3851) Bad night (1271)
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(702): View more from Nevada

facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me

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(702): facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me http://tfl.nu/rfhz

Replies (11) Good night (3476) Bad night (1543)
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(727): View more from Florida

would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?

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(727): would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right? http://tfl.nu/emka

Replies (7) Good night (3570) Bad night (1120)
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(904): View more from Florida

she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...

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(904): she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room... http://tfl.nu/wehm

Replies (8) Good night (3267) Bad night (1258)
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(253): View more from Washington

The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid

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(253): The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid http://tfl.nu/62ef

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.

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(724): They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now. http://tfl.nu/wmrg

Replies (7) Good night (2102) Bad night (747)
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(212): View more from New York

You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.

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(212): You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band. http://tfl.nu/ldj0

Replies (10) Good night (2849) Bad night (740)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table

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(401): Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it. (1-401): Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table http://tfl.nu/unxn

Replies (5) Good night (1149) Bad night (502)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?

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(812): Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner? http://tfl.nu/i2e0

Replies (13) Good night (680) Bad night (404)
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(801): View more from Utah

Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.

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(801): Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done. http://tfl.nu/ys5o

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins

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(+44): I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins http://tfl.nu/rxpk

Replies (5) Good night (565) Bad night (369)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.

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(859): Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder. http://tfl.nu/f5qx

Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (269)

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