If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU