yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
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I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...