Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
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Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.