So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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