He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
