Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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