What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
