That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
