i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
