my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize