Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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