wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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