Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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