Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
