I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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