Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
