I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize