Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...