i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?