I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop