I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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