..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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