I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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