TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
