Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
