so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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