like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
