So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
