I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize