we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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