Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
