yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
