maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize