i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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