We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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