omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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