so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
