Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was confusing and full of hummus
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My feet surprised me
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