Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
