Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
