Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.

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(226): View more from Ontario

I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.

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(330): View more from Ohio

he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong

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(651): View more from Minnesota

You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

yeah you don't forget that shit easily

(651): View more from Minnesota

We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.

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(916): View more from California

Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless

(209): View more from California

Sacramento doesn't deserve you

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!

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