i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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