I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
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who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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