operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
