It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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