we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
