she woke up with a sticky ear
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
