New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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