She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
