wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
