I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
