didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
