i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
