after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
