I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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