A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
