Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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