Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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