I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
