hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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